Dr. Barbara Collins | Relieve stress when you feel like a hot mess!
Dr. Barbara Collins is a midlife transition expert.
Midlife, Tranisition, Menopause
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Relieve stress when you feel like a hot mess!


There are certain days when stress makes you feel like a “hot mess” and frustrated. You feel frustrated not knowing how to feel better. Creating simple and pleasurable experiences relieves stress and feels empowering because you control what makes you feel good. Knowing who you are and knowing what you value are manifested in pleasurable experiences.

“At any age, stress is a part of life. Young and old alike have to face difficult situations and overcome obstacles. While young adults struggle to establish a career, achieve financial security, or juggle work and family demands, older people may face failing health or dwindling finances — or simply the challenges of retaining their independence. Unfortunately, the body’s natural defenses against stress gradually break down with age. But you don’t have to give in to stress just because you’re no longer young.” Aging Healthy by Chris Woolston, MS – Healthy Day

In your second phase of life, making goals to volunteer, travel, work part-time, spend time with family and friends are indicative of your core values. Doing things you didn’t have time for while working 40-50 hours a week. These activities promote awesome experiences and give meaning to your life.

Your core values are beliefs that evolved over time, i.e., spiritual, health, education, finances, etc.  Appreciation of art may be a core value; visiting an art gallery could be a simple, and pleasurable activity to feel better. Maybe you value nature; going for a walk in a park would change your mood to joy.

My friend made a list of 48 simple and pleasurable activities that relieve stress. On her list was hot apple cider in the winter and sleeping in bedsheets fresh out of the dryer. She inspired me to create my simple and pleasurable list. My top three core values are faith, health, and family. I pray a simple prayer HELP, walk 30 minutes around the Y track, and calling my granddaughters to say “I love you.”

Think of three core values and create an activity for each one that makes you smile or brings you joy.  Remember it’s your responsibility to feel good, no one else. You have a choice to stay miserable or get up and take action ( little tough love :).

Setting a goal for each activity for when and how is important for motivation is another discussion.

I just want you to take care of yourself when life feels like a mess. You got this!

Peace and Blessings,

Dr. Barbara